home burial: a tale of grief

One of the most difficult events for any married couple to face must be the burial of their own child. Digging your child’s grave and placing him or her in it must be a heart wrenching experience. I do not believe any parents could possibly imagine the pain and suffering that they would feel if they lost a child. This poem by Robert Frost illustrates a conversation between and husband and wife. The husband, who remains unnamed, and Amy, the wife, recently lost their first and only child. The child was buried by the husband on the hill beside their house. The grave is viewable from the upstairs of the house. Frost establishes that Amy spends much of her time dwelling on the past and staring out the window while her husband has moved on. This poem paints a picture of death, grieving, and the care of a spouse.
As stated, the couple lost their first and only child. The wife continues to grieve over the loss and dwells upon the past. This prohibits her from moving forward and enjoying any moment in her life. In the realm of psychology, there is a grieving process when accepting death. Amy is frozen in the stage of depression. Most people move beyond the time of depression into the stage of acceptance of the death. On the other hand, there are people like Amy, who focus on it and never move forward.
Amy seems to forget that she is not the only one who lost a child. In the poem, she accuses her husband of being uncaring towards the death of their child. What she fails to understand is that people grieve in different ways. Amy became solemn and looks to the past. The husband kept his grief to himself so that he would not upset his wife and quickly moved on with his life. Amy is egocentric and cannot look beyond herself to offer consolation to others, including her husband.
In the beginning of the poem, the husband discovers why his wife continues to look out the window. He tried to tell her that he understands her pain, but she refuses to listen and insists that he is clueless. The husband only wants to know what his wife is feeling and the see how he can help her, but she will not speak about the situation. Amy does not want to be comforted by her husband, but tries to leave the house to seek peace from someone else. The husband just wants to know where his wife is going so that he could spend time with his wife to help her through her struggles.
The husband is the ideal man who cares for and is concerned for his wife. He kept his grief to himself so that he would not distract his wife and make her grief worse. He wanted Amy to talk to him so that he could help her through her struggles. Amy did not want to look beyond herself and did not understand that there are different methods of grieving. Amy needs to move on and accept her child’s death so that she can improve the relationship between herself and her husband. “Two that don’t love cannot live together without them.”